Friday, April 5, 2013

About as Natural as Hamburger Helper

Last night I took an awesome walk with an awesome friend, and along the way we were discussing food and who cooks what in our families. She mentioned Hamburger Helper and it kinda stuck in my head. I was not 100% sure why until this morning when Apocalyptica's 'I Don't Care' trampled my brain and it hit me. Dealing with some people in our life who talk about what good people they are yet their actions are the exact opposite. It drives me nuts. Like intensely stressful, hair falling out, migraine causing crazy. Which is insane in an of itself to let someone else's issues drive me to that point. Certainly there are other factors involved which explain why I would be so concerned. But still, letting myself become such a bundle of anxiety means that there's no way in heck I'm being a good example to those around me. It doesn't make me a bad person or mean that I'm showing a bad example necessarily, just that I'm not showing how to correctly deal with stress.
So in the last 6 months or so, I've had an elephant sized load of revelations that of course I'm gonna tell you all about, whether you want to read them or not ...  
 
The first one was that I am not supposed to be afraid. No longer should I be living in fear of what they might do, or say, or think. That my strength is in the Rock of my Salvation, and because of that, Whom Shall I Fear? Seriously, I realized that my fear was being caused by the evil one (sorry, NOT caps-ing the first letters, he doesn't deserve it!). I realized that by fearing the consequences of everything, I was leading our family in a life of decisions that were led by God and then adjusted to fit the parameters of the fear. What the heck was I thinking?!?!?!?!? Here I am teaching our kids to stand up for themselves in righteousness, to be strong in what they believe, don't let anyone trample on who they are and Who their faith is founded in. And I'm sitting in the corner like Chicken Little worrying about what will happen if, how will it be handled when, what will the kids have do deal with ... Honestly, just writing this and running it through my brain, I am getting severely annoyed at myself. Like chewing myself out in my head annoyed. Sheesh.
The second revelation was that, if I no longer live in fear, I have the freedom to do what is absolutely right and when it's necessary to defend those actions, God will give me the words to say, silencing the attackers and sending them away. Now this doesn't mean that they won't talk and attack when I'm not there to hear it. But it does mean that those attacks will no longer be initiated or instigated in our home. The devil will NOT get a handle on my family through that avenue any longer. That in itself is another freedom. When these realizations hit me, I cannot even put into words the HUGE release I felt. It was as if I had been carrying around this giant burden and it suddenly was lifted off of me. I just felt such lightness, such hopefulness, such joy ... There's no way to explain the depth of it properly in words. Tears of true love and joy came, and I do not cry easily.
The third big revelation came when I realized that we are no longer under their control, and they cannot manipulate us or situations any longer. Sure they can try, and they may even succeed with those who are part of their lives and therefore believe them. But for those seeking the truth, they will not be able to warp or bend the truth to suit their selfish desires and arrogance. Again, it was wonderfully freeing. I have begun to almost see thorough them. What I mean is, when I see them, I no longer see their outward appearance, the mask, the facade that they put out for everyone to see. I see the sadness, the anger, the arrogance, the frustration, the lack of self-worth, that is causing them to succumb to Satan's temptations.
 
SIDENOTE: AGAIN, the music backs it up. Flyleaf's 'Again', Trapt's 'Headstrong', The Birthday Rumor 'Goodnight', blessthefall's 'Promised Ones' ... *Yes, I'm in a hardcore/screamo mood today. 
 
When we give in to the bling and glitter of the world, we say yes to Satan. Plain and simple, black and white, there it is for you. Like it or not. Living IN the world is fine. We reside here, but our future and our hope is in Christ, in the eternal afterlife of Heaven. I'm talking about living OF the world. The kind of living that leads to the 'Keeping Up With The Jones'es' mentality. When possessions become the focus, when looking good and looking like good people becomes more important than simply being good people. The Gimmie Gimmie mentality develops, and soon the focus is on what is appears one's life is. Jesus once instructed His disciples to '... be in the world and not of it ...' God has placed us here for a reason, and it's not to destroy the hope of our eternal future by falling into every material and earthly trap that Satan lays out for us. We become fake, fraudulent versions of who God created us to be.
 
This is how I see it. Either you are or you aren't. There is no trying or want to. Either you do or your don't. That's one of the strongest motto's we teach our kids. You either put all your effort into something or you don't. If you are going to do something halfway, then you might as well not do it at all, because half done things always have to be fixed or finished by someone else, meaning your laziness created more work for someone else.
 
So when it comes to life, you either believe in God or you don't. You either follow His ways or you don't. Being a so-called good person is not even remotely enough. If you're not following His example, if you're not working to bring others to Christ and to glorify The Father, then you're working against them. The Bible is pretty clear on this. This website lists several Biblical references to lukewarm people and their place in eternity based on their behaviour in this world: http://www.dublinvcc.org/Portals/0/Crazy%20Love.pdf. I was going to list several scriptures but this is way faster, sorry. *The hands are still recovering from the surgery and I've typed quite a bit already today lol.*
 
So at the end of this half a year of revelation, I have finally realized that I am free! The bonds of fear have been loosed. The bonds of a tied tongue have been removed. The bonds of an anxious heart have been evaporated. Anxiety, worry, concern - they have all been downgraded and put into perspective. There are times to feel those emotions, but they will no longer control our decisions. It's one thing to say God is the head of your house. It's another absolutely beautiful and freeing thing to believe it with your whole heart, to live it. Our house, our lives have always been in His hands. What's changed is that now I'm no longer trying to move His fingers where I think they should be!
 

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