Like a tadpole swimming in concrete

I feel stuck. Frustrated. Like brick walls keep popping up, booby traps and potholes tripping me and holding me back from where I should be, where my family should be. It's incredibly frustrating. And what's worse, is that so much of it is 'confidential' situations, so I can't even have a glass of wine with a good friend and get it off my chest. Ok, that's not completely true. I can have a glass of wine with a friend. I just can't unload on them. I'd better be careful what I'm saying here or I will start getting a ton of offers for a stress-free glass of wine with a friend! (Hehe, because that would be just awful!)

 

What to do, what to do! I realize that this too shall pass, and in a few days or weeks or months things will have changed. Some will have been resolved, some will be better, some will be worse, some will be the same. So why in the heck and I letting it get to me like this?

 

Spring Fever. I have Spring Fever. EVERY year since I was about 10, I get Wanderer's Itch around mid-February. By March is it driving me nuts, and by April it's nearly unbearable. I want to get up and go. Somewhere new, something new. It's not that I want to leave my amazing life, I just need a change. Quite frankly, I want to get the heck out of Dodge and go buy a sprawling ranch in the Texas hill country! I want to grow my marriage, my family, my children, animals, fruits and vegetables. I want to live off the land and let the land live through us! I've always had this dream where I have my ranch and Palamino, Arabian, & Mustang horses, along with one Jersey cow named Eva and one Longhorn Steer named Moe. I cannot tell you why, that's just what I want to see in my field. I also want chickens and tons of dogs and barn cats. I want a little farmhouse on the edge of the property for my parents, and another one on the other edge for hubby's mom. I want to grow our food, make our own bread and pasta and ice cream. I want to work for my family with my family.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I realize of course, that this Utopian dream has about as great a chance of coming true as I have of ever getting people who chomp their gum to actually chew it like there's other people around who don't want to hear their disgusting, spitty, chomping and snapping.

 

I apologize for my short temperment today. Ugh. It just seems like it is SOOO busy right now, and until this week the weather has been so crappy that it's stirring people's agitation pots.

 

Apparently I'm one of those people lol. I think I will go home, throw on my running shoes and pound it out on the wooded trails. RAH!