That moment where the wind turns your umbrella upside down ...

 

I'm sure you've had a day like me,
where nothing seems to set you free
from the burdens you can't carry all alone ...

This is how I feel this morning. Not only have I NOT kept up on the blog every day, I don't even know where to begin with translating the incredible amount I am learning this Lent into something readable on this page. To top it off, I am failing miserably on staying meatless. Three times I have done it while in a hurry, only to stop on the last bite and go GAA!!!

That moment where you realize you just ate meat during your meatless Lent ...



Anyone know where I can find one of these?
It's like AA except it's for people like me who have
a writer inside but are afraid to really let it out.

I have continued to challenge myself, yet am struggling to put it down for others. Every day has been a struggle and success for me, so why can't I find the words to share with others so they, too, can experience the joy of overcoming with me? Why am I letting the lessons of the day become bottled up inside me? I'm not afraid to write. But I am afraid that what I say will be fruitless ... that it will mean nothing to anyone but myself.




 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

We have had the pleasure this week of having our Parish's Lenten Mission with the fabulous Fr. Bennett Luedtke. He is absolutely fantastic, and has confirmed that I'm on the right path. Yet I still feel stuck.

 

 

 

 

 

I am learning SO much, having SO much that I'm already putting into practice confirmed that my usual spasticness and difficulty staying on topic is even worse! Combine that with feeling like I've so much to say and not knowing where to start, I'm beyone mentally jittered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So once again, God speaks through my music. Francesca Battastelli, "Beautiful, Beautful." - "Don't know how it is you look at me, and saw the person that I could be. Awakening my heart breaking through the dark, suddenly Your grace - like sunlight burning at midnight, making my life something so beautiful. Mercy reaching to save me, all that I need You, is so beautiful, beautiful ..."

 

Followed by MercyMe, "My Heart Will Fly" - "Why this happened I cannot explain, why write the script with such heartache and pain. Could there not have been an easier way, watching life through this glass so faded? I cannot see the bigger picture taking place, oh to understand one day. My heart will fly, when I finally see You face to face, and my tears will fly. Away, away! It won’t be long 'till we all go home with all things revealed and on that day we’ll finally know. Oh, as we are fully known. My heart will fly when I finally see You face to face and my tears will fly. Away, away! And what appears as incomplete ws still completely Yours. And one day we’ll see as we’ve been seen, and we’ll soar! My heart will fly when I finally see You face to face, and my tears will fly. Away, away!"

 

Ok, God, I get it. "I get down, He lifts me up. I get down, He lifts me up. Every time I'm down, the Lord lifts me up!" (Thanks, Audio Adrenalin, for helping drive in the point lol.)

 

So today, I choose to fly. I will take the crap that's dragging me down, burn it and use it for fuel to lift me up. Because at the end of the day, it's not what happens to us that determines who and how we are - it's how we respond to what happens, it's what we do with those situations. I don't know if my ramblings will make sense or help anyone. But I know that they're from Him. I am doing my best to let Jesus live in and through me. I KNOW that when we do that, He will use us for good. So I write. Because I KNOW that is how I can impact those who I don't see face to face. Jeremy Camp's "Restored" puts it really well ... PLEASE take a few minutes to watch this video!!!

 

His way is so beautiful and so EASY once you start, It is so strong that I know no matter how much poo gets shoveled my way, I'm going to take my upside down umbrella and dance with it in the rain. Maybe I will even use it as wings. I've always wanted to fly like a bird over the ocean during a storm, anyways!!!  :)