First off, I apologize for the two missing days. I've been fighting a case of pneumonia that is determined to destroy me, so the weekend was spent fighting back. On a bright note, I'm at work fever free so far. On a dimmer note, I haven't won ... yet. Muahaha!!
So today, I had fully determined to step up the game a bit more and add forgiveness to the mix. Judging by the first 3 songs Jango played today, I am thinking God agrees lol. This was confirmed completely by what my work day has brought. So here goes:
As many of you know, the last couple weeks have been a challenge as far as dealing with difficult situations and people. This morning, I came in to find out that a long-time parishioner who has been battling alzheimer's passed away this weekend. In addition, his daughter and her family are close friends of mine. The suddenness and finality of death always washes over like a tidal wave. Funerals are definitely one of the more difficult parts of my job.
In addition to burying both her parents within the last 5 years, my dear friend is now also struggling with being persecuted by the family of her father - aka HER family - for the way that she is handling his funeral. Which is exactly how he wanted it handled. And so, my job of getting information becomes, as it has so often before, that of friend and comforter. Because she is already a friend, the empathy I feel becomes much more intense, and I struggle not to become angry on her behalf of these family members who are causing more pain for her. Just as I'm about to form an edge, God speaks loudly and clearly through the music I have playing all day long. (He does this ALOT, by the way!)
I stop dead in my tracks because in the background, I hear the words of Shawn McDonald's Open Me. "I want to serve You, my God, I want to give you everything. I want to serve You, my King." Am I serving God, am I serving the deceased man's memory, and am I serving his daughter - my friend! - by letting anger take over? As Addison Road puts it well, "If everything comes to love, then just what am I afraid of? When I call out Your name, something inside awakes in my soul. How quickly I forget I'm Yours!"
Often I remember that everyone around me is cradled in the shelter of His love, but how often I forget to include myself in this! HIS love sets us free, free from pain, free from the burden of sin, free from the anger that is all to easy to be consumed by. So I choose forgiveness. Even though these people have no idea their actions have hurt me. The moment I decided to say, "Lord, help me forgive their sefish behavours!", I was flooded with a peace, and the words my friend needed to hear immediately flowed from my mouth.
Because I looked to His grace to forgive, she, too, will be able to forgive them. She was able to turn the situation over to God, to allow me and a few others to pray for the family members. And she is now able to fully honor her father's wishes, his amazing life, by planning his funeral exactly how he wanted it without the baggage and burden of frustration and anger.
I forgive you ... three of the hardest words to say, and even harder to mean. But once we embrace them, once we fully understand the burden of unforgiveness, how easy they become to live!!!
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